04 October 2010 @ 12:08 am
Fic: Cam Mitchell's Guide to Sweet Seduction  

Title: Cam Mitchell's Guide to Sweet Seduction
Pairing: Sheppard/Mitchell
Rating: NC-17ish
Summary: Cam is a good boy, sometimes.
Warnings: Cracky
Wordcount: 661


Cam Mitchell is a good boy. He holds doors open for women, even when they give him long suffering looks and launch into diatribes about feminism. He’s been known to help old ladies bring their groceries to the car. He once even sprained his ankle rescuing a cat from a tree (he was seven but it counts).

He’s smart and funny. He’s charming and sweet.

He doesn’t believe in pick-up lines because they’re fake, and he wouldn’t be able to use one seriously anyway (he’s tried; mostly it just comes out sounding ironic).

And besides, he doesn’t think his type of girl would fall for that anyway.

Cam Mitchell is more in the art of subtle seduction (okay so he’s more in the art of smiles and southern drawls and aw shucks ma’am may I buy you a drink?)

And Cam Mitchell was raised right and he uses phrases like ‘make love’ and he doesn’t go all the way on the first date, and he’s only ever once had a one night stand that somehow turned into one of the longest friendships he’s had…

So he thinks it’s surprising how he and John Sheppard end up naked tangled in his sheets at 0300. Cam’s a little numb from the alcohol, has only a vague recollection of getting to this point, like he slept walk through the unimportant bits and woke up with his hands cupping John’s naked ass as John’s dick drags across his own.

“Whoa,” Cam says, because he thinks it’s appropriate; he hears John snort teasingly into the crook of his neck.

John’s thrusting against him, and Cam gropes his ass with a weird kind of fervor that he thinks is kind of hilarious so he starts laughing and John lifts himself up to look at him.

“Mitchell,” he says. Cam opens his eyes and looks into John’s and laughs.

“This is funny,” he says, reasonably.

“Well it’s definitely not sexy.” Cam bites his lip and slides a finger between John’s cheeks to stroke at his hole and John hisses and thrusts against him.

“Beg to differ,” he grins. John ducks his head and starts biting at his neck.

“Not too hard, I don’t want Landry asking awkward questions,”

“God Mitchell…really?” John sighs, “no mention of commanding officers when you’re having illegal gay sex with a fellow officer, have you not read the handbook?”

“Is that the one with the rules about paisley?”


Cam still somehow manages to have a fair amount of control over his limbs, even when he’s pitching forward after flipping them both over. John doesn’t seem to mind though because he’s sliding his legs up Cam’s chest and pulling him forward.

“I’ve never really gotten how that could be comfortable,” Cam says, noticing for the first time how sloppy it comes out.

“Mostly we’re distracted by all the mind blowing fucking happening to really notice,” John says. Cam nods in agreement. “So if we could get to that part…”

“Right,” Cam says, and does.

In addition to being a happy kind of drunk, Cam is also a big cuddler. Which John tells him he finds completely unsurprising, even as he’s grudgingly wrapped up in Cam’s arms like a teddy bear with a pulse.

The next morning, Cam remembers nothing but the sex, which, he thinks, he’s kind of okay with, because it would probably be weird if he woke up to find a naked colonel cooking pancakes in his kitchen without any recollection of how he came to be there.

“How did this happen?” Cam asks anyway, staring at the bruises on John’s ass that are remarkably finger spaced apart.

“Jack Daniels.”

“Bastard,” Cam says, mock outrage.

“Also I’m a pretty easy lay,” Sheppard says.

“I didn’t woo you first? With flowers and sweet nothings?” Cam asks, sitting down at the table and allowing John to plop three pancakes onto his plate.

“If you count ‘hey wanna fuck?’ a sweet nothing,” John says. Cam looks at him in disbelief.

“I did not.”

John just grins.



Kisomehowunbroken on October 10th, 2010 01:00 am (UTC)
Oh man, I'd love to see the prequel - did Cam actually say that??

Great fic!
bimosexualbimosexual on October 10th, 2010 02:54 am (UTC)
I should write the prequel...it started out with my imagining Cam actually saying that drunkenly. His brain coming up with all these great lines and that comes out. :)
Shakesphericaloceania on October 10th, 2010 01:08 am (UTC)
This is my first John/Cam story and I must say, I liked. Very funny and hot.
bimosexual: Lornebimosexual on October 10th, 2010 02:55 am (UTC)
:P I'm glad you liked it, now I demand you go out and read more, because John/Cam = win.
Buttercup: Cuddly Johnbbuttercup on October 10th, 2010 01:08 am (UTC)
They're so cute together! I love this story :o)
bimosexualbimosexual on October 10th, 2010 02:55 am (UTC)
They're adorable. I'm glad you enjoyed it
Pixie Child: marvel; UncannyXMen v500 - Pixiefai_dust on October 10th, 2010 01:44 am (UTC)
This was hystarical and hot.
bimosexualbimosexual on October 10th, 2010 02:55 am (UTC)
adafrogadafrog on October 10th, 2010 01:59 am (UTC)
Love it, thanks!
bimosexual: Mitchellbimosexual on October 10th, 2010 02:55 am (UTC)
Thanks for reading!
ninja007ninja007 on October 10th, 2010 02:57 am (UTC)

I love this. Sweet, sexy, drunk sex!

Also, that last line, Cam is soooo easy...

Thank you!
bimosexualbimosexual on October 10th, 2010 04:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading :)
giggles149giggles149 on October 10th, 2010 05:52 am (UTC)
this was great. It is my favourite pairing still after all these years and I think you did a great job with Cam's voice. Thank you for sharing :-)
bimosexualbimosexual on October 10th, 2010 04:07 pm (UTC)
I'm glad Cam worked, thank you for the read/comment
saphirablue on October 10th, 2010 06:19 am (UTC)

Oh, Cam - you didn't? *snort*

Thank you! :)
bimosexualbimosexual on October 10th, 2010 04:08 pm (UTC)
Oh yes he did :D
eclipsegigerisgod on October 10th, 2010 10:23 am (UTC)
liked this. very funny. and pancakes, too.
bimosexualbimosexual on October 10th, 2010 04:08 pm (UTC)
hee thank you :)
fyreflyfyrefly101 on October 10th, 2010 03:16 pm (UTC)
Heee! Oh, this is brilliant, and so very amusing, and I absolutely second the call for the prequel. And possibly the sequel, wherein Cam actually does the equivalent of flowers and sweet nothings. Again, brilliant!
bimosexual: Crichton Aeryn Kissbimosexual on October 10th, 2010 04:09 pm (UTC)
Cam would feel the need to do things right :D

I'm glad you liked it
mackenziesmommamackenziesmomma on October 11th, 2010 02:46 am (UTC)
Oh that was just... :D

I can't stop grinning. Would love to see the prequel to it :)
bimosexual: Lornebimosexual on October 11th, 2010 05:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

*gasp* you touched a Kavan...he look so cuddly...want!
mackenziesmommamackenziesmomma on October 11th, 2010 06:33 pm (UTC)
You're very welcome :)

*gasp* you touched a Kavan...he look so cuddly...want!

No...I got cuddled by a Kavan (he initiated that pose. I was just going to be content with standing in the same air as him. But no...he pulled me in like that. Then I kind of melted and recovered about 3 years later ;))

oh was wondering would you mind if I friended you so I can see if/when you write more cause I like your stories :)
bimosexual: Mitchellbimosexual on October 13th, 2010 03:23 pm (UTC)
That would have made my life. Oh my Gods.

I do not mind at all if you friended me, I am glad you like my stories :)
mackenziesmommamackenziesmomma on October 13th, 2010 04:53 pm (UTC)
That would have made my life. Oh my Gods.

Yeah it kind of melted my brain to the point that the next day when I saw David Hewlett I told him that I hadn't seen something because "There's no Kavan in it..." *facepalm
I'm an Honorary Canadian. I have proof!camshaft22 on November 25th, 2010 11:19 am (UTC)
This is sooooo awesome!! Thank you!
Antares: winterantares04a on January 8th, 2011 03:01 pm (UTC)
This is very nice! And I like Cam's disbelief! *lol*